Psychologist's advice to men: how to understand women. How to understand a woman: useful tips for real men

Although men and women deserve equal treatment, the fact is that there are certain social differences between the two genders. This article will tell you about these key differences and how to better understand the specific woman in your life.

Steps

Part 1

How to better understand the women in your life

Consider biological differences. Women and men have slight differences including...

Learn about the social pressures women face. Women experience gender discrimination, including pressure to be feminine, as well as barriers to success that men do not experience. She may be stereotyped as women, undervalued, and pushed out of areas that are considered masculine.

• Girls are taught to be obedient, diligent, quiet, submissive, “ good girls" While some women may rebel against such attitudes, they likely still do today; too much protest can have social consequences (such as being labeled a “nasty feminist” or being denied a promotion for being too aggressive).
• Women may also experience additional pressures and difficulties due to skin color, disability, weight, lower income and more.

1. Accept the fact that all women are different. In your life you may meet athletic women, eccentric women, funny women, artistic women, ambitious women and all sorts of others. Each woman has her own personality and her own goals. Overgeneralization can be dangerous.

   • One woman’s behavior should not be mistaken for a universal female characteristic. Just because your sister doesn't like sports won't mean that your new girl he's not interesting either.

2. Watch her. The best way To understand a person - be it a man or a woman - is to spend time with him and observe his behavior patterns. This will allow you to find out what upsets her, what delights her, what irritates her, and so on.

   • Be very attentive and patient with her. Some women can show their natural selves right away, others may only show certain sides of themselves once you get to know each other better.

3. Ask her questions. This is key, especially if you're trying to get to know a woman you've just met, a shy woman, or a woman who tends to be calm and quiet.

   • Find out about her interests, interests, hobbies and goals for the future.
   • Ask her what she's been doing lately, what she's feeling, what she's happy about, what she's worried about, what she's afraid of, and so on.

4. Find out about her past. Ask about her family, what her childhood was like. Each of us is influenced in some way by the environment in which we grew up. These questions will tell you a lot about a woman.

   If you think she's upset, ask her about it. Sometimes women feel uncomfortable expressing their disagreement or emotional pain. If you feel like something is wrong and she doesn't say a word about it, give her the opportunity. During quiet times, take her aside and ask her what happened.

   • “I think you're upset and it worries me. Did I do something to offend you?”
   • “You seem cold today. Something happened?"

5. Listen to her carefully. To understand someone, especially a woman, you need to listen. Give her your full attention and ask questions to better understand what she means. People like to be heard.

Part 2

How to understand the girl you love

In addition to the above steps, it is worth considering the following to better understand the girl you like, the girl you are already dating, or your beloved wife.

Take the first step. Naturally, this is the 21st century, but, in general, the first step is still expected from a man. Of course, some women may be bolder and more active than others, so she may surprise you by asking you out first.

Be confident and show your sense of humor. Women value these qualities, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or spouse. This doesn't mean you should try to be something you're not, but try to put some effort into emphasizing these characteristics when you're trying to impress a woman.

Don't compare her to other women. Women too often tend to compare themselves with other women, and, as a rule, to their detriment. As a result, many of them become dissatisfied with their appearance. They may wear makeup even when they are just going out for a walk or shopping at the supermarket, simply because they need it to feel presentable.

• If she's upset with herself, remind her of her intrinsic value or talk about how you see her.

1. Find out what she likes. Does she like hugs or verbal compliments? What makes her feel loved? This will help you demonstrate your love in a way that she will appreciate the most.

   Be courteous, but not condescending. Even a die-hard feminist will appreciate it if you hold the door for her or offer to pay for dinner. Although she may not let you pay for the entire dinner, the gesture will be appreciated.

   • The line between politeness and benevolent sexism is whether you treat her as if she can't do it herself. For example, it's not lenient if you open the car door for her because you want her to feel like a princess, not because you think she can't do it herself.

2. Compliment her. Every woman loves to be reminded from time to time how beautiful, smart and sweet she is. This is especially true for a romantic partner who needs proof that you are still interested in her. Remind her what you love about her.

• Remember that some women are flirtatious even when socializing with platonic friends, so don't assume that a woman is interested in you romantically just because she's being nice or friendly.
• Don't talk about previous relationships with the woman you're dating unless she asks you about it. This will imply that you are still thinking about your ex.
• Women value honesty, especially in relationships. If you want a woman to trust you, you must be open and honest with her.

Warnings

• This article is intended to be helpful, but is in no way intended to promote gender stereotypes. These recommendations are not suitable for each women.

Men and women exist in different worlds. These worlds live according to different laws and are filled with so much different information that even spouses with many years of experience would be very surprised if they could read each other’s thoughts. Men and women see cause-and-effect relationships differently, consider things obvious that their partner of the opposite sex is not even aware of - and often blame each other for this. But this is the same as being offended by a Chinese or a German for not knowing Russian. After all, the fact that there are “male” and “female” languages ​​has long been no secret to anyone. Let's try to figure it out how to understand a woman. Here are a few phrases from a woman’s language that confuse any man.

"Talk to me"

For a man, conversation is a way of obtaining information. For a woman, communication is a valuable pleasure in itself. When one friend invites another to talk, she will not specify the topic and reason for the conversation - she herself does not yet know them. When a woman asks a man to talk, she can confuse him. About what and in general how to understand a woman during conversation? No, he can, of course, tell her about his work or, say, what kind of bait is best for catching crucian carp. However, he rightly suspects that such topics are not close to her. Maybe not close. But if a woman likes you, she will just enjoy spending time talking with you - without any special purpose. This expression of feelings is almost more important to her than sex. Therefore, the main weapon of any heartthrob is a well-spoken tongue. He may not shine with everyone else, but he “must scratch his tongue.”

You can only accept this as a given and suppress your fear of such a meaningless pastime. Don't try to replace communication with real action. If you nail down a shelf, fix the washing machine and prepare a six-course dinner, you will still have to eat this dinner while having a heart-to-heart conversation - only then will the woman believe that you are sincerely interested in her.

"We need to talk"

But this phrase carries a completely different meaning. It's no secret that women often use such vague structures to manipulate men. Let's say how you react to such a florid preface: “We need to talk seriously. I don’t even know where to start, but I need to tell you about one thing that’s really bothering me”? Any man will begin to feverishly remember what such a terrible crime he has committed. However, rest assured, in ninety percent of cases it will be about the fact that it’s time to re-paste the wallpaper in the hallway or enroll the child in the pool. Do you think a woman is a bad speaker and doesn’t know how to place accents? No matter how it is. She just knows male psychology very well and understands how nervous such initiatives make you - and what relief you will experience when you realize that the alarm was a false one. And it is at this moment that it is easiest to get your consent to purchase a new refrigerator. It’s a harmless technique, whatever you say, but it works flawlessly.

The question “how to understand a woman” has been worrying representatives of the stronger sex for many years. Even our fathers and grandfathers asked themselves this question, but so far no one has been able to find the exact answer to it.

Indeed, many men today are sincerely perplexed when observing what they consider to be strange behavior of women. Why does a woman suddenly get upset for no reason, although everything was fine? Why does she start a scandal out of nowhere? Why did a woman like one of the actions of a man yesterday, but today the same action already irritates her? What is the logic in this?

Features of female behavior

Let's try together to figure out how to understand a woman, how to find out what she really wants and what she categorically does not accept. We will try to highlight the most incomprehensible features for men feminine behavior, get to the bottom of them true reasons, and also give the representatives of the stronger sex effective advice on how to behave with their lady in a given situation.

Why does the woman talk all the time?

One of characteristic features Almost every woman loves to talk. Ladies can talk 24 hours a day!

Many men do not understand why a woman talks so much at all, since sometimes her “chattering” does not carry much meaning or purpose. And sometimes it happens that because of these “talks” a couple quarrels, seemingly out of nowhere. “The boss is an asshole! - says the girl, - He overloaded me with work, but he’s not going to pay extra for it!”, “So leave this job! Why should you suffer? I can provide for both of us!” - the man answers.

“I don’t want to leave this job, I like it, by the way! — the girl is indignant, “It’s just that sometimes the boss is too picky and demanding!”

“So what should I do? Should I go and punch your boss in the face?” - the man loses his temper. “Why don’t you ever understand me?!” - the girl gets upset and runs away from the room in tears, leaving her chosen one in sincere bewilderment as to what he did wrong again.

If a person talks about something, it means he wants to get advice, a hint, or simply wants to hear an outside opinion, is it logical? Seems Yes. So what went wrong?

Dear men! It’s unlikely that you will understand why girls need this, so just try to take it on faith: representatives of the fair sex talk for the purpose of... talking.

Yes. For them, talking is an end in itself, therapy, if you like. And all the lady expects from you is active listening. Men usually share problems with each other only in one case: when they want to get advice from another person.

Therefore, as soon as your lady starts telling you something, just listen to her carefully, nod your head, keep the conversation going in general phrases, and that’s it. If she complains, say: “Oh, poor thing, how do you cope with everything?” If he’s bragging, exclaim: “How smart you are!”

What should you not say to girls?

And, most importantly, refrain from the desire to interrupt her with a phrase in the style of “tell me the essence, why bother?” or “can’t it be shorter?” Don't ask what she wants from you either - just listen.

She doesn’t need advice and decisions, she needs your attention - this is what girls look at when drawing conclusions about how interesting and important they are to their man.

It’s clear that listening to a woman is sometimes a real test for you: not only does she shake the air in vain, not wanting to hear anything from you, but she also retells in great detail everything that she did, saw or heard, right down to the squeak of a sparrow, sounded outside her office window at exactly 2:14 p.m.

Be strong, men! After all, it’s just as difficult for girls to endure those periods when you just want to be silent. They just don’t understand why a man is silent when he can talk. And in this situation, there is no point in proving who is right and who is wrong - just accept your differences and try to meet each other halfway.

Just try to listen to your girlfriend when she wants to talk about something, and most of the scandals and complaints on her part will come to naught.

Why do girls speak in hints?

Another typically feminine trait that drives every man to white heat is the reluctance of the fair sex to speak directly about what they need. And really, why do women mostly speak in hints?

For example, you ask a girl if you should walk her home. The girl, modestly lowering her eyes, refuses, citing the fact that she does not want to strain you. You nod in agreement, your chosen one leaves, and then suddenly stops answering your calls or messages.

You puzzle over what happened, and later it turns out that the lady was terribly offended by your refusal to see her off. "What?! – you will be sincerely surprised, “But she herself didn’t want to strain me!”

I'll explain. No woman wants to “impose herself” on a man, but she does want to receive care and proof of love. And the best proof of love for a girl is a man’s sincere desire to take care of her - and not because she ordered him to do something for her, but because he himself is pleased to do something good for his beloved.

Often girls go so far when behaving in this way that they begin to confuse cases when a man really doesn’t want to take care of her with cases when he simply doesn’t know what his chosen one wants. In most cases, a man would be happy to do something useful for a girl, but has no idea what exactly. While she continues to terrorize him with unnecessarily vague hints.

How to behave if a girl refuses help?

But what should men do? I think the best way out of this situation is to understand that in some cases you should insist on your own. That is, if you want to do something good for your chosen one, but for some reason she refuses to accept it, it is better to do this “good” thing, since this may well be another female test.

She says that there is no need to accompany her? Answer that you are carrying it out because you yourself decided so - they say, you are responsible for her safety. She says that there is no need to give her gifts, saying that she is not dating you because of them? Don’t think that everything is so simple - continue to give her gifts, saying that you decided to give them to her yourself, and you do it absolutely selflessly!

She says you don't have to pick her up from work by car? Get behind the wheel and go to her work. Dot. Of course, such behavior by women will seem illogical to any man. But remember: women by nature are guided more by intuition, feelings and emotions than by logic. Don’t look for logic in their actions, just remember how to behave in certain situations.

What should you not say to a woman?

There is another huge snag in communication between a man and a woman: these are women’s questions and “trick” phrases - the very ones that men fear the most.

Among them, the most famous are “I probably don’t look very good”, “Darling, have I gained a lot of weight?”, and also the most terrible one - “Tell me honestly, have you loved anyone more than me?”

Men, I perfectly understand your horror when you hear something like this! After all, answering such questions is like walking through a minefield. Take half a step in the wrong direction - explosion! After all, as you may have guessed, the woman has already prepared in her head the only “correct” answer to these questions - the one that she wants to hear now.

You can recognize a “trick” question by keywords such as: tell me honestly, tell the truth, tell it like it is and so on. Remember the movie “What Men Talk About,” namely the moment where the characters discuss a hypothetical couple who have agreed to always tell each other the truth!

- Tell me honestly, have you ever cheated on me?

- Yes, the day before yesterday with the secretary.

And She hit him on the head with a lamp!

Dear men, in order to avoid unpleasant consequences for you, just remember: if your lady asks you a question or drops a phrase that contains some kind of negativity in her direction, do not agree with it under any circumstances!

Closest to a woman's heart

Memorize: she always looks great, she hasn’t gained a bit of weight, and even if she has gained weight, then you love her just the same, and you never remember any of your exes, because with the arrival of your chosen one in your life, you realized that you had never loved anyone before.

Yes, girls want, on the one hand, to hear the truth. They get very offended when they are lied to! But on the other hand, ladies also They want what they want to hear to be true.

Men, forgive women this little “bug”, this illogicality, emotionality and “unpredictability of the female psyche”, which is legendary. If you know how to answer such questions, then there will be much fewer problems in your relationship.

Just remember: no matter how badly the girl herself speaks about herself, you should not agree with it. She has the right to criticize herself, but you don’t.

After all, you also think that you yourself have the right to admit your own mistake, but you still expect support and understanding from a woman, words of recognition and gratitude, and not at all indications of this mistake. Try to show understanding to your soulmate, and your life will become much less nerve-wracking and “fluffy”, and the number of happy and prosperous moments, on the contrary, will increase.

This is where I’d prefer to end our article so as not to overload men with typical women’s “troubles” and advice on how to understand a woman.

Although we have not explained here all the incomprehensible and illogical actions committed by women, we hope that the information provided will be useful to men, will help them establish relationships with their chosen ones and understand them at least a little!

As they say, for a relationship to be good, a man should love his woman a lot and understand a little.

Our self-development portal sincerely wishes all readers complete harmony and mutual understanding in relationships! To find out more interesting and useful information, visit our website dedicated to self-improvement and read new articles!

Have you ever thought that you absolutely do not know how to understand women? You're not the only one, don't worry. Most men face the same problem as you. Do you want to fix this at least a little? Then we will try to help you.

The first thing you need to learn is that you don't always have to try to understand a woman. We will tell you a terrible secret - women themselves often do not know what they want, which makes them seem contradictory and flighty. Deal with it, and instead of throwing another tantrum, ask the girl directly what she would like and what you can do for it. What every woman without exception wants is confidence in the future. Looking at you, she should understand that you will be a faithful husband, a caring father, and will be able to provide for and protect her if necessary. If a girl doesn't want to have anything to do with you Serious relationships

, which means that according to some of these criteria you do not suit her.

You must realize that women's thinking is fundamentally different from men's. Women have their own logic and their own understanding of what is happening. What may seem absurd to you will not cause any emotions in a woman and vice versa. Therefore, do not be angry with your beloved when she does something wrong, accept her for who she is, with all her charms and oddities.

Can't understand why your beloved behaves this way and not otherwise? Don’t you understand why she is so attached to stereotypes about relationships that have come from out of nowhere? Watch her mother and how her parents communicate with each other. Women are accustomed to taking as a basis the model of relationships that they see from childhood. Therefore, by looking at your mother-in-law, you will be able to find out not only what your wife will look like in 20-30 years, but you will also be able to understand much better the reasons for the actions of your beloved.

Understanding a woman is difficult, sometimes even impossible. First of all, she needs to be loved, appreciated and accepted for who she is. Don't try to change anything. Enjoy every second you spend next to your beloved, and then everything will be great for you.

All men dream of the day when they will know how to understand a woman. Psychologists will help bring this significant event closer. The expert advice described in this article will tell couples how to build a harmonious relationship and avoid conflicts and quarrels.

How to understand a woman: female psychology

The psychology of women is a complex science, which not every man can understand. Because of misunderstandings, disagreements arise, relationships deteriorate, and marriages collapse. Often the stronger sex does not understand what a woman wants. This is due to different views on life and significant differences between representatives of the two sexes, which can be seen in everything - movements, facial expressions, manner of communication.

For example, men do not tend to use definitions in speech. Representatives of the stronger sex present stories in the form of a monologue and prefer to express thoughts succinctly, using short phrases. First of all, a man talks about himself. He, unlike a woman, more often interrupts his interlocutors and inserts his own corrections into the stories of others.

Women resort to dialogues and construct complex sentences. Their stories are elegant and more grammatically correct. Favorite topics for discussion include relationships between men and women, the lives of friends and acquaintances. Girls can easily cope with chatting on the phone while doing 2-3 more things at the same time. Men, on the contrary, are not characterized by multitasking: it is difficult for them to concentrate on several things at the same time and quickly switch from one action to another.

It is not difficult to understand women, the main thing is to take into account the peculiarities of their psychology:

• emotionality;
• sensuality;
• ambiguity.

Girls perceive the world around them through emotions - every event has a huge impact on their feelings. Despite the fact that any trifle can bring a representative of the fair sex to tears or make her incredibly happy, women are much stronger emotionally than men.

The contradictory behavior of girls is due to internal conflicts, which they are used to solving through strong leverage. Considering that finding a man who meets all a woman’s requirements is an extremely difficult task, an innate sense of pride leads to the fact that they begin to demonstratively solve all problems on their own. Since this is by no means always possible, failures become the foundation for new disagreements and claims.

Women try to get rid of complexes by resorting to the help of third parties. And until this conflict between the demands of society and internal needs is resolved, they cannot feel happy, and men cannot understand them.

Psychology of love and relationships

Male psychology is structured differently from female psychology, and therefore gentlemen have difficulty understanding what their chosen ones want. Psychologists volunteered to help deal with girlish inconstancy and mystery. Wise advice from experts will lift the curtain female soul and teach you to understand the desires of ladies:

1. The inconsistency of women's words and actions often takes men by surprise. One minute the chosen one was in a great mood, calmly talking about pressing matters, and half an hour later she turned into a capricious child, sorting things out and provoking a quarrel. The surest way to understand the reason for a sudden change in mood is to ask directly. Ask what caused her dissatisfaction and discuss the problem.
2. Uncertainty about the future is an end to relationships. Women are worried about the future. They want to be sure that the man will provide for the family and cope with the role of a father. The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman is built around the family hearth. Show yourself as a breadwinner, an exemplary family man, a caring husband, and the bride or spouse will have no reason to worry.
3. Do not lock your chosen one within four walls. Modern women they do not strive to turn into housewives and limit themselves to the role of a wife who cooks dinners, washes clothes and looks after the house. The weaker sex has many opportunities for self-realization and creating a successful career. Do not force your chosen one to sit at home all day long and wait for your return. Otherwise, this will lead to her dreaming of someone else, in her opinion better life, and your relationship will deteriorate.
4. Speak and know how to listen. The beautiful half of humanity depends on the so-called chatter. Conversations are an integral part of their life, an opportunity to establish contact and understand another person. Talk to your loved one, be understanding of the need for communication.
5. Stop throwing socks around and collecting dirty cups. Crumbs on the table, a stale T-shirt thrown on the floor are potential provocateurs of conflict. Men think that carelessness is not a reason for quarrels. However, girls look at the problem differently. They perceive this as a disregard for efforts to create comfort in the home and for their personality as a whole.
6. Praise your chosen ones. Don't skimp on compliments. Your stories about your day and activities will be much more interesting if they are preceded by praise for your hairstyle or appearance.
7. Be patient. Sometimes women's whims are a test of your nerves' strength. In this way, girls are trying to find out how serious your feelings and intentions are, and whether you will run away after the first mood swing.

It is not difficult to understand a woman. Love and respect her. Surround your chosen one with care and tenderness, treat small weaknesses with patience and understanding, pay as much attention as possible, and you will not be afraid of any conflicts.